|
Post by donk on Jul 10, 2016 14:09:32 GMT -5
I posted this on EE in what may turn out to be an inappropriate place...but I really think there's something to comparing our rea life experiences with the presentations of the "alt-media"...so in hopes of more (and different) feedback...ill put it here:
|
|
|
Post by donk on Jul 11, 2016 10:42:53 GMT -5
I haven't taken the time to review the video again, which I will do soon...but a couple of things occur to me:
This day and age, where we are drowning in information but starving for practical, useful, clear/not confusing truth that woud empower us....or at least help our lives....the controllers of information, who are the real "masters of the universe" that I inhabit, had to get creative.
Back in the day, there were a handful of people that gathered enough data (on the abduction phenomenon) and presented it in a coherent enough way to be taken with any seriousness at all by anyone....Bud Hopkins, John Mack, Karla Turner, Barbara Bartholic (sp?) come to mind. And that was only because they were able to get a decent enough sample size of people with like experiences (with a sharp, open minds and good writing/presenting skills).
In this day and age, we have the tech available to us that anyone should be able to do it. Probably because those "controllers" can easily monitor this information stream that they've made available to us, and taint it whenever it suits them. In other words, anyone that can gather data like those peeps the community holds in high esteem is easily marginalized, and I'd guess any appealing (false) "data" can be promoted and made more attractive than it'd otherwise be with the minimal thought/focus put toward it.
It also seems an emotional charge has been so effectively attached to the subject matter....which my current best theory is that the concept attacks an idea we rarely consider is an underlying theme of very existence: that we are at the top of the "food chain". Why else would any of these ideas be difficult to hash out?
By ingraining since birth...especially here in the States, where "we're #1" is a friggin' motto...that we are the penultimate of all of creation, the peak of current evolution, without really making that blatantly clear (or fashionable to mention), we don't have a clear picture of the instinctual fear of having a "higher level" predator, our more evolved consciousness present in our reality.
Since our limited mundane senses either are unable to detect, are artificially limited/poisoned, or are overridden by lies to ourselves or malicious programming...the emotions push a "self-defense" mode where to most people anything beyond them (the mundane 5 or so senses) is offensive for most to even talk about.
It seems like that is changing though. Sure, we have tons of people locked in mideaval and earlier dark age ideas of "good vs. evil", where anything not easily seen is of the "enemy"....and maybe there is even something to that....but not evolving our thoughts...and more importantly, emotions--as in: not taking it so personally...limits our ability to get a handle on even the most common of "phenomena" that we have plenty of data...and to my eyes, plenty of personal experiences that should bring some of them into the "scientific" realm, as there is more solid than some of things we just accept without being able to verify (particle colliders come to mind here).
Which all comes back to the weaponization of information. Which to me is the "hiding of truth". "Truth" (capital and/or lower-case) is anything to me that an overwhelming majority would have a hard time disagreeing on. Which us plebes are left with things like this car runs on fossil fuels...while the "truth" is that there are probably a number of ways that it could run more efficiently....in my studies I found that anything over a certain energy-efficiency is classified, presumably for "national security"....the "truth" of which seems to be that Individuals that make decisions that control populations.
I guess my point of re-stating what I believe should be obvious for the umpteenth time is to clarify one of my more "altruistic" purposes in this exercise (getting ness--a stranger to the community, to talk to a stranger publicly of her experiences) is to try to steer change in the behavior patterns of the way we share, consume, and analyze data.
I'm doing what I can to expose whether or not it is "ok" or safe or whatever to share "anamolous" experiences. Whether it be safety from ridicule of others thinking it's ridiculous, scorn from those that assume people just lie for attention, or actual threats like we like to assume is there from "them" when real empowering information is presented that may free us the bondage of the confusion "they" (or we?) create.
I didn't expect it to be like the end of "Pump up the Volume" where this behavior would instantly go viral, but hoped to start an appealing fork in the road where our paths go in a direction where if we "intuit" someone is lying, we say so and speculate why (rather than just "oh she's lying"). Where our attention span lasts longer than the "interesting" new bit of info is lost to the next one, not properly put into context and forgotten. Where instead of just getting interpretations of "data" and experiences from people with the same baseline of information, we explore a little further afield and recognize that there's a broader experience outside what's become acceptable in the community.
The Macks and Turners of yesterday were (supposedly) able to bring data from the "wider" world together to put something together that was like a base of information for a particular experience. The community that puts that in the base-line beliefs of their experience has these days "evolved" into a sort of CULTure looking for more and more "far out data" (added complexity...perhaps one of the most effective tools of those that would control a populace?)...so what Ben is doing to me is a super-important component.
Analyzing those putting "data" out there from as many different angles is super-important IMO....I like his angles and his style is similar to mine, which is why I chose him, rather than first trying with two other friends who get more attention (Shane and Christine...who I think would give extremely valuable and different angles if I could get them--and Ness--to agree to talk...which I may just try)...anyway I'm getting muddled here....his (monologue) analysis of the celebs is markedly different from the way he talks directly to people, and he tries to be different than the celeb-interviewer types that are more concerned with whether peeps will come talk to them than asking real questions....we all need work obviously, I was shocked at some of the "lies"/loose truths he let go in this one
Anyway I'm babbling now...I was trying to show my appreciation for the Chanter, and the direction I hope those of us who want something different can go if we find it a useful path. I am willing to not only put myself out there, but my loved ones...my family as well. I will not live in fear of sharing my experience, and I will not live with those that want to live lies. One of the personal, selfish reasons for doing this was a baseline to start analyzing some of the stories Ness likes to tell.
One thing I learned in this virtual insanity, how important it is truly know yourself. I am not someone that can live in a reality where telling lies is a "value", where it is ever accepted...even the "white lies" and "family secrets" that seem to have good intent. I don't believe there's a such thing, there is not existence I can relate to where hiding the truth is better than exposing it. I hope to do my part in being the change I want to see.
|
|
|
Post by donk on Jul 14, 2016 9:47:05 GMT -5
To the handful of people that come here (and maybe not there), I am in the proces of laying shit out here: earthempaths.net/forum/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=824...as I feel like it sort of goes hand-in-hand with Christine's doing with CG. As above, so below....we all start disclosing truth about ourselves and our situation, maybe it will trickle up...resonate vibrations and all that...just trying to be the change I'd like to see
|
|
|
Post by donk on Jul 17, 2016 15:18:30 GMT -5
So I wanted another perspective on some of the stories that Ness likes to tell, so I emailed her dad, who I'd never spoken directly to. He called Ness to see if it was ok if I called him, it must have been weird getting all those inquiries out of the blue, but as a lonely old man he was happy to talk to me.
In the email I asked about her demonstration of extrasensory sensitivity (prescience) and ability (telekinesis)...the latter it turned out he had not heard about/. We started off with him the real story of what I'd pieced together from Ness: that she had predicted the Ecuadorean President dying and shut a drawer with her mind. From her telling I thought her dad (we'll call him Wil) took her to a specialist or something about her "anomalies" early.in life.
What actually happened is that she walked into his bedroom one night out of the blue and said something like "it's sad that the persident is dead." Next day he died (he couldn't remember name or year just that his plane crashed in the Andes I guess early 80's), and soon after that he ran into a American missionary (friend, maybe) and they got to talking about psychic phenomon and he told him about different tests and as an example gave Wil his handkerchief, which he gave to Ness to hold who intuited it was a bald man's (she's done things I think show her knack to pick up energies off objects for whatever that's worth)...I guess this combined with other incidents (he told me an unrelated ghost story I might get to later) had him convinced she was "different"
Anyway I dove as soon as I could into the medical issues...being dropped as a child and the HGH. She told me that she has lucid memories of being dropped down the stairs, the maid just leaving in her crib never to be seen again, parents took her to the hosiptal when they got home and found her in the crib. The way Wil tells it, they came home, they felt large soft spot on big part of her skull, nanny said she must have fallen (she was nine months old, he made it sound like she made it sound like she bumped her head wriggling around...or whatever, Ike the nanny involvement wasn't important)...apparently her mom should currently have (unless she got rid of it) an X-ray showing a fracture from the back of her skull up to her forehead.
There seemed to be no detrimental effects, the hospital really couldn't do anything just tell them to keep close an eye on anything developing. Years later it was apparent she wasn't growing. The story Ness pieced together to tell became in my mind that she was part of small study on the very first Human Growth Hormone ever used, as her about 6 year old bones tested to have the bone age of an 18 month old, she was diagnosed as "pituitary dwarf", which is the "proportional" kind of tiny person. SHe mentioned lots of deaths from her constant injected treatments but she came out fine. This is fairly close to the actual story, at least how it could have been picked up by a kid. Wil tells it thusly:
They came back to Miami to have an expert on growth issues check her out, and as it turned out the expert on her condition happened to be in his old hometown of Mobile. AL. I think (but am not sure) that the following happened at University of Southern Alabama's woman;s hospital (but we were kinds talking about two different things and I couldn't get clear if that is correct).
Apparently there was a treatment, (this would be about 1981, I think, he describes as needing her to have 2 IVs in her arms, one brought her glucose to zero (which she could have used consciousness) and the other both said "lit her brain on fire" as they vividly recall the pain she felt as he watched the beginning and she was not quite unconscious. WHat he said the other med did is attempt to stimulate the pituatry gland to start producing HGH.
If it was effective at all, it was for undetectable amounts, so was a failure.She ended up getting prescribed HGH which he couldn't afford (he says they wanted $60k year back then, American $), and ended up getting her into a National study that paid for it. For a year, until it was suspended, because apparently they were using the HGH from corpses and subjects were dying from having the diseases they died from passing on with hormone, fun!
Apparently they switched weveryone right away to an "artificial" one, whatever that means. So when from she was 6 until she was 18, she received injections of "artificial HGH" which I suppose prevented her being freakishly small as it appeared from the pics of her at 6 she'd have been....who knows. Anyway just wanted to get some of my notes while they were fresh, will comment later, probably on EE
|
|
|
Post by donk on Jul 18, 2016 9:04:14 GMT -5
In case anyone cares and was confused, I moved this thread from the big subforum to here (post by post, yeah I'm an idiot and still figuring out all the buttons and such) yesterday)...it was called something else too.
|
|
|
Post by donk on Jul 18, 2016 9:12:31 GMT -5
Something I took away from the conversation was how badly it seemed he WANTED someone he could talk to about the weird shit. Not like he was anxious or anything, it was just a super smooth conversation that flowed totally well. When he had run out of things to say about the HGH, he went to his ghost story, talking about how the beach house someone in momma's family (I believe the very same rich rapey uncle, but I could be wrong) bought in South America...where outsiders, strangers commented on the noises and weird activity from the outside...and it was super-charged when inside
He told how one night they were awakened by the sound of a gunshot, which turned out to be at the time on the day of the anniversary of the owner shooting himself in the head. The story struck me, in that it was so similar to mine, the one I tell skeptics to get them to understand why I'm open to weird things. I had a same haunted house, with all the weird common details (footsteps, furniture moving, cold presence), and a "big event" that was story worthy...and a lot of outside witnesses and inside experiencers with even bigger stories. It's like haunted houses are a common ground on making the leap from the mundane to the woo-woo world....
|
|
|
Post by donk on Aug 7, 2016 8:26:58 GMT -5
This morning she tells me she tried waking me up last night to see the people in the room. She said a very tall man (all the way to the ceiling) was holding a baby in white, next to a woman in a dress (not white but in the darkness she could not make out a color except the baby's--who she felt was a girl--white) who gave her a worse vibe than the scary tall dude...said she was short and fat and old.
Apparently they just looked out the window. Even though the window had closed blinds, was covered completely. Said it kept her awake long time, she felt they didn't notice her and didn't want to attract their attention, and tried waking me by nudging and poking but I was out cold. Said she eventually did fall back asleep and when she woke up briefly they were still there. Said she saw a belt on the lady, and that they felt very dead...those were the only other details I could get out of her.
Last time someone visited her in our room at night it was a gargoyley type weird creature thing that just sat in the corner looking at her, seeming to get a little closer and closer or maybe just paying more attention. That was like a month ago or more at this point. Not sure what to make of any of it,
|
|
|
Post by donk on Dec 16, 2016 10:34:39 GMT -5
I tried something different last night, when she came from a family visit. Heryoungest sister is in town for the holidays, she lives in Qatar where her and the 2nd (of 4) live the upper middle class lifestyle they had grown accustomed to in Ecuador...where they can own slaves. Yeah, they call them maids, and feel better about themselves because they don't physically abuse them like some neighbors they know. After all, they're giving them a better life, they'd be on the streets. Instead of the safe, comfortable homes provided. But i digress...my only point is that it is a special occasion for the family.
Ahhhh, the family. The twin sons of uncle E are two of my favorite people to talk to when I go to the gatherings. They are about the same age, and very intelligent and open minded. Perhaps it makes them the worst of the clan. They should know better, they have the ability to effect the status quo. Instead, the one that moved to Ecuador (on daddy's dime) brought their new baby back to be Chritened at the same time as the sister visit. Ness makes plan with sis to do brunch with her at that time, as she wasn't even told about it as she wasn't invited.
The lack of invitation is one of the few things approaching honesty I've seen in the family. When she was younger, Ness made a stink making sure everyone in the family (except poor Aunt who'd kill herself is she found out her hubby Uncle Eddy was a pederast) KNEW what kind person the patriarch of the fam is. She never attends anything he is at, so it should have been a straight forward thing...instead the Lie has to be fueled. They tell her oldest sis, who lives her not far from us, was also not invited. I have.a really hard time believing that...and if it is true, it is actually WORSE, why is she not part of the family?
Again I digress. Lil sis was not even interested in going to the thing, that much is clear. What is not clear to me is whether or not she knew when she accepted the alternative plans with Ness that it was at that same time...she's not much of a "thinker" and it could have totally not be in her mind when she accepted. What I do know is that as soon as momma found out about the plans, when sis was reminded, she took no arm twisting to decide to go to the Christening, suggesting she can see her at the gathering back there at momma's (paid for by Uncle E) house after the ritual.
I don't pretend to know how any other person's mind works, especially not a woman that lived lies her entire life. Whether she is able to lie herself into "forgetting" Ness won't go to a function with E, whether she's like Ness and will hammer at the lie (she should suck it up and go be part of the Family), or whether she just mentioned it to try to appear the pleaser to her sister (for her own comfort)...but that's what pissed Ness. Her sis, who's sposta be her bestie, betrayed her in her mind. I don't fault her for this, it has to sting, but what I felt responsible to do as her partner was to remind her that this is exactly the status quo for the Family...that as much as it hurts, she is only a victim of their continued abuse and Lie because just like them, she approaches the situation from a place where "she's right and they're wrong so I should prevail but don't, so gets pissed off about it, hurt".
How do you break that cycle? How do you teach someone to free themselves of the self destructive lies they tell themself? How do you convince someone that it's better to live in a reality closer to than we all have to share, rather than the made up one in our mind?
What i tried different was to compare the situation to the TV show I was watching: Leah Remini's "Scientology and the Aftermath". I had just got done watching one of the examples where the members of LRon's "Family" did backflips in logic defending the AUTHORITY of the family (the big Lie) with lots of "innocent" little lies, ya know? The ones that seem not so bad when taken out of context. I hoped her to see some of herself and her family in the people that felt they had no choice but to not only go along with the Lie, but BELIEVE it themselves. I was at the part where she was reading the letter Rinder's daughter wrote him about how terrible he was, and he was explaining how important it was to expose how lies were tearing were families apart, against each other.
It occurred to me, that I've never seen an account of someone in Ness' position....on the outside looking in. The Reminis and Rinders of the world have stories that make sense, and it is therapeutic for them to air it all out. But it is much harder for the "rejects" that WANT to be part of the Family to tell their stories, I guess...they can't even tell themselves the truth about the situation they find themselves. How do you get an addict to be mindful of the "fake love" they crave so desperately? Crave the acceptance of people that are, well, downright deplorable (to use the parlance of our time)? Who repeat the same exact treatment time and time again.
I know I'm an enabler, what the shrinks would call a "rescuer". I have no reason to believe she can grow in a relationship with me, that she can learn the lessons I want to teach her. Whenever we take a step forward, circumstances come to bring her right back to that "black sheep" child just wanting mommy and daddy's love, acceptance from her sisters and extended family...all the people that NEVER felt she deserved to be treated like a person (except when she plays their fake games the way they find acceptable)...all people who have no problem getting on their knees to the teat of AUTHORITY that give them material security.
...damn i gotta remember to find out how Uncle E got his fortune.
|
|
|
Post by donk on Dec 16, 2016 10:54:10 GMT -5
She didn't realate. She'd seen Leah whining about some stupid group and knew everything she needed about her and wouldn't even try to listen to me try to show her the parallels. While she took a tiny step in not lying to herself about the situation, she could hear me tell her it was normally and healthy to be hurt and angry at how's she treated and understood how the family NEEDS to keep up their Lie, but she wasn't open to looking at a learning opportunity...I couldn't free her from the prison in her own she keeps herself.
At any rate, it will be interesting to see how the weekend plays out. She seems to be learning how powerful Truth is, but I'm afraid she's not mature enough to use for anything other than weapon, which will ultimately more self destructive than helpful. Lately she's just been avoiding any of these growth opportunities, I guess we'll see what happens....
|
|
donk can't login :(
Guest
|
Post by donk can't login :( on Jun 1, 2017 13:37:14 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by donk on Jun 6, 2017 18:19:39 GMT -5
So it took me awhile to figure out how to log back in, I used my super-secret email address even I didn't know I had.
Anyways, this whole exercise was part of enabling an abusive relationship.
I love Vanessa with all my heart, and value the time we had together...but I kept having to justify to myself how living with her made me better off. Mostly because I believed she would never leave.
That's what it came down to. I swore that even if I cheated on her, she would still find a way to not to leave. An undetachable attachment.
My sister in law (and the sweet sweet medicine that is ayuhausca) helped a lot. I needed to be told by an exterior source something that I knew: I didn't have to live this way.
Bill Maher once said "lying to yourself is the greatest love of all". I really believe that, we were all programmed with that idea without realizing it.
I love Vanessa and always will, but am very happy to be starting a new path without the "possession" I considered our relationship at the end.
|
|